How Do We Keep Jesus at the Centre of Our Relationship? My Personal Testimony

When you’re in a new relationship, it’s natural to feel excited, hopeful, and nervous. As Christian couples, we often say we want Jesus to be the centre—but what does that practically look like? How do we live that out daily?

Let me share with you what I’ve learned through my own journey. This isn’t theory—it’s a testimony of how God transformed my heart, my relationship, and ultimately, my marriage.

1. Start with Your Own Heart

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” — Matthew 6:33

Before you talk about putting Jesus at the centre of your relationship, ask: Is He at the centre of your life?

That’s where everything begins. You can’t invite Christ into your dating life while keeping Him out of your personal walk.

From my story:

“I met my wife when I was serving in a ministry at church. I was passionate about seeking God, and I loved reading the Bible. I started a Chinese Bible reading group at our English-speaking church, and a few brothers and sisters joined. Among them was my future wife. I was drawn to her faithfulness and hunger for God's Word. That attraction was rooted in what I already desired in my own heart—God.”

What you desire personally shapes who you find attractive. So if your desire is for Christ, you’ll naturally be drawn to someone who reflects that.

2. Desire Must Be Surrendered

Desire isn’t a bad thing—but if it’s not surrendered, it can take control.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4

Even though I met someone godly and mature, I didn’t start the relationship with full surrender. I didn’t consult my spiritual mentor. I was afraid—afraid that if I let go, God might take her away.

My confession:

“I started the relationship because I felt lonely. I longed to have a girlfriend. But deep down, I knew I didn’t fully seek God before stepping into it. I held on tightly, as if this was my plan—not His. That’s when things began to fall apart.”

3. Obedience Is the Turning Point

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5

After we started dating, conflicts quickly surfaced. The relationship was on the verge of breaking. That’s when God brought me to a point of surrender.

My prayer of repentance:

“God, forgive me. I confess that I made this decision without You. I repent. From this day on, I surrender everything—my desire, my relationship, even the outcome. If it ends, so be it. But I will love her till the end to honour You. You are Lord of this relationship, not me.”

That was the moment things began to shift—not because circumstances got easier, but because my posture changed. I wasn’t holding on out of fear; I was loving her out of obedience to God.

4. Growth Happens in Surrender

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain.” — Psalm 127:1

After that prayer, our relationship began to heal. We still faced struggles, but we were no longer relying on our strength. We began to grow in spiritual maturity together.

“We got married in 2020. Our marriage is not perfect, but it has become more joyful and purposeful as we continue to surrender ourselves to God. The more we love God, the more we grow in our love for one another.”

Surrendering daily doesn’t stop once you’re married. It’s a lifestyle of seeking God together.

Final Encouragement: Jesus First, Always

You don’t keep Jesus at the centre of your relationship by accident. You do it intentionally—through prayer, humility, repentance, and obedience.

Start with your heart. Then lead with surrender. God is faithful to build what we place fully in His hands.

“We love because He first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19

Looking for more Christ-centred encouragement for your relationship or marriage?

I’m Oscar, the director of Elohim Studio—Christian photographers and videographers based in Brisbane. We serve couples who want their wedding day to be a reflection of their faith and their story of grace.

At Elohim Studio Weddings, we don’t just take pictures—we walk with you, pray with you, and support you as you prepare for a lifelong covenant.

Visit elohimstudio.com.au/weddings to learn more.

Oscar, the founder and director photographer of Elohim Studio.

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